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Let's think things through

Counseling for creative blocks

12/29/2022

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The creative process isn’t always smooth. Sometimes, you get stuck in one of the stages of idea development and implementation. When this happens, it’s important to identify
- the poor habits during engagement in creative work (are you trying to create when you need to be somewhere 30 minutes later? are you creating in the presence of a critical/judgmental person? are you beginning creative work with your phone notifications going off every few minutes?)
- the psychological factors that get in your way (are you filled with fear and self-doubt? did you just receive upsetting news that you need time to process?)
During counseling, try opening up with you therapist about the kinds of thoughts that interfere with your creative process. The goal would be to set up an environment (both physical and psychological) which would allow you to move through these blocks smoothy and comfortably. 

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What does your audience represent to you?

12/22/2022

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When clients share their apprehension about presenting their creative work, I often urge them to contemplate the following question: what does your audience represent to you? At first, this may seem like an unusual way to think about an audience. The idea that an audience represents something--and is not just the group of people watching or listening to your work, can be a little foreign. However, upon further exploration, I find that clients start to get it: throughout the years, they have turned audiences into some kind of projection; imagined and self-imposed pressure, that draws from past experiences, inner criticism or unrealistic expectations. 
Audiences may represent:
  1. the affirmation of proving to yourself and to others that you've made it
  2. the comforting "embrace" of validation and acceptance
  3. a bully taunting you early in life
  4. a harsh critic who told you you're not worth it
  5. an extended member of your family who cares about the effort you've put into your work
  6. the challenge of figuring out (from a marketing perspective) how to capture people's attention
There are likely many other ideas to add to this list. As soon as clients figure out what their audience represents to them, they can work through complicated feelings about presenting their work to others. Having an understanding of what's at stake, on a deeper emotional level, can make it easier to challenge what's holding them back. 
What does your audience represent to you? Please share your thoughts below! 
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We are growing!

12/14/2022

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Our team has been steadily growing over the last few years. We have a diverse group of qualified therapists who are ready to help you tackle the difficulties that keep you from flourishing emotionally and creativity. Take a look at our OUR TEAM page to find out more!
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Creating a daily creative practice

7/8/2019

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My most creatively fulfilled clients are the ones who maintain some sort of daily creative practice (or, at least, almost daily). During this kind of practice, clients are not debating whether to work on a creative task, because it's a given. These clients know that spending time on some type of creative expression most days of the week, is a form of self-care. Just like it goes without saying that exercising, resting, eating well, and vacationing are parts of a healthy routine, creatively fulfilled clients are motivated by the idea that actively using their creative faculties is not a luxury, nor something trivial. Rather, it's necessary to feel content and satisfied. 
Still, there is some kind of inner dialogue going on. This dialogue regarding a daily creative practice is not about whether, but about what, how or when. 
1. What should I work on? While there are some constraints (deadlines, resources, etc.) it's important to check in with yourself regarding what you feel like working on. Sometimes creators feel like reflecting, "sitting" on ideas, taking things in, rather than actively producing work. Sometimes creators want to go back and edit, other times they want to write new material. As long as the relationship with creative work is maintained, fluctuating between tasks is normal and ok. 
2. How should I approach the work? You might find yourself wondering which direction your plot should take, whether to add a bridge section to your composition, or if you should care about whether your play fist with the tone of other plays in the show. There are countless questions that arise during the creative process. As the famous quote says, "when there's a fork in the road, take it." 

3. When do I move onto something else? With experience in practicing daily creative habits, comes the intuition to know when it's time to take a break or to stop altogether. You will know whether the voice telling you that it's time to stop comes from a place of avoidance, or a genuine need to introduce a different type of creative stimulation. The important thing is that, right when you are about to wrap one project up, you're always wondering "what's next?"
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How can I stay motivated to keep creating?

6/3/2019

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This short list captures four main themes explored during sessions at Creativity Mental Health Counseling. There are many ways to stay motivated, and here are just a few to point you in the right direction. 
  • Think of it as self-care. When you are creating you might be leaving your mark onto this world, you might be relaxing, you might be enjoying yourself, you might be learning something new, you might be stimulating your brain, you might be using your talents, or doing something that will help you feel productive. Whatever the case, just like going to the gym or to the dentist, using your creativity can be is another way to take care of yourself and to maximize your well-being.
  • Think of it as taking care of others. Maybe your EP has an audience of 10 or 10,000. Your story might make it to the screens of 50 or 500 readers. It only takes 1 person to be emotionally moved, to learn something new, or to be entertained or intrigued, for your creative work to have an impact. 
  • Find out what it means to you. There must be a reason you began to do creative work in the first place. There must be an inherent drive, a curiosity, a craving, and a meaning behind a creative task. Is it to tell a story that has not been told? To tell an old story differently? To discover the depths of your own limits and potential? Whatever it is, identify the big picture significance and don't let go!
  • Habits, habits, habits. There will inevitably be days that you have things to do that seem to take precedence over sitting down to write, draw, brainstorm, photograph, compose, etc. If you have well-rehearsed, automatic habits in place, you are more likely to be motivated to show up and make progress, if it's just a small amount.
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CMHC is on Instagram

5/8/2019

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Creativity Mental Health Counseling now has an Instagram page! Follow us for inspiring quotes, calming images, and practice news. https://www.instagram.com/creativitymhc 

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"My family doesn't respect my artistic profession!"

4/2/2019

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Clients are often frustrated when their family does not support or respect their work in artistic professions. They often hear family members say "I can't support you forever!" or "when will you get a real job?" and other hurtful remarks. 
Though changing your family's views is outside your control, there are a few things you can reflect on in order to ease the disappointment from opposition coming from your family. 
1) What does your family's opinion mean to you? Here's a chance to explore your degree of differentiation (your independence) from your family. Are you comfortable with the idea of holding an attitude that clashes with the ones of those closest to you?
2) Do YOU respect your artistic profession? In order to feel secure against comments or remarks that seem to denigrate your choices, it's important that you work through your own perceptions and unconscious biases about your artistic profession's respectability. Doing so, will lessen the pain and frustration from what you hear. 
3) Can you accept your family's values as part of who you are? Even if you're rejecting or acting in opposition to what you were raised to value professionally, your upbringing informs parts of your identity --some of which may even inform your artistic work. In other words, some people recognize that they wouldn't be the artist they are without the tension from a non-supportive environment. 
4) What does your family not get or misunderstand? Is it possible that there are things about what you do that your family does not understand? Or perhaps the ways it makes you feel? This point relates to how well your family and you communicate. Maybe it's time to sit down and paint a picture of what your day-to-day looks like, and why it matters to you. 
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"Online Simone"

2/12/2019

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Simone sat down, seeming relieved to finally have a chance to tell someone what had been weighing on her for months: "I'm not who I pretend to be."

Her cryptic remark made me wonder. Was this a compulsive liar? Someone with sociopathic tendencies? Was I dealing with my first dissociative identity disorder? Then she clarified:
"I have over 3000 followers on Instagram, and they all think I'm this outgoing, confident singer, yet, I dislike everything about myself. I'm sometimes scared to leave the house to avoid real conversations." Her eyes remained focused on me, scanning me for signs of approval. I paid attention to the fact that the more she revealed, the more space she allowed her body to take up in the room--she'd straighten her back and relax her shoulders with each revealing statement. 

Here was a striking, young singer and songwriter who, by her own admission, was letting people believe that she is comfortable with who she is, when in reality, all she did wanted was to hide. At least, the real Simone did. The other Simone, the online Simone, craved and pursued visibility. After I pointed out this internal fragmentation of the two Simones, she asked: "Can you help me feel more like the online Simone?"

​A few sessions into our work together, we had gained a deeper understanding of her experience. She told me all about the thousands of discarded videos on her phone--the ones she wasn't posting online-- and about the rush she gets when people comment or like her posts. She described early experiences with being bullied and how even though she was no longer being bullied, she still assumes others have negative thoughts about her. In her small social circles, she longed for attention, validation and approval, just like the one she received online. But she struggled to ask for it. Mostly because she didn't believe that she deserved it. 

Somewhere in the third or fourth month of our sessions, Simone had grown less fearful and avoidant of the qualities she disliked about herself. She could talk about her mistakes without signs of anxiety, she forgave herself after unsuccessful attempts, and spoke more about what she hopes to achieve instead of what she wants to avoid. Around this time, the goal of our sessions was to highlight the obvious: that the "online Simone" was, in fact, a manifestation of traits that were already there. "Online Simone" was her fearlessness, her love of life, and her belief in herself.

When Simone saw herself as someone deriving comfort from self-expression, rather than a fraud tricking people, she recognized parts of the real Simone in the "online Simone." She was able to maintain a whole, an integrated sense of self. 

Close to the six month mark, Simone came to the office announcing to me that she's ready to stop therapy. This decision made sense to both of us. She took out a piece of paper and wrote down her social media handles. I was taken aback as she had never invited me to see online Simone before. 
"Here you go" she said. "I'm not shy about showing you anymore. Everything on here is all real."
by Olga Gonithellis
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WHEN TALENT IS NOT ENOUGH

1/6/2019

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Some of your earliest memories might include being told how talented and gifted you are. Your self-perception and identity may have a solid sense of being "a natural" at songwriting, painting, writing, singing, and so on. Early experiences that contribute to the feeling of being talented are an indisputable advantage when it comes to developing the motivation to pursue creative work. However, there needs to be more. Here are 4 areas that you, a creative client, can explore with your therapist to ensure that your talent is fully maximized:
  1. ​Work habits: You and your therapist can look into how set up a work routine. Do you spend time on many creative projects at once? Or focus on one at a time? Do you have a set schedule or wait for inspiration to "strike?"
  2. Empowerment: Whether you feel "entitled" to spend time using your talent for creative work will make a difference. Do you question if time spent on art, musical expressive, or writing is time well-spent? Are you inclined to doubt every step you take during creative moments?
  3. Persistence: Sessions can focus on your overall attitude and outlook when it comes to failure and rejection. Do you give up as soon as an idea doesn't go as planned? Or do you have helpful thoughts that will allow you to get back up the moment you fall. 
  4. Stimulation: How open are you to taking risks, and exposing yourself to new ideas? You and your therapist can think about what's holding you back from receiving the kind of stimulation that will trigger unexpected, yet, valuable thought processes.
by Olga Gonithellis
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COPING WITH ENVY

12/5/2018

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The highly competitive nature of the entertainment industry can frequently bring out jealousy and envy even to those who are typically unfamiliar with such feelings. Though these feelings are common and normal, especially in a field where there is a so much pressure to stand out during auditions and get more industry attention, they can also be a major problem in the artist's world because they can:
  1. Interfere with healthy and creative collaboration - I once worked with a singer who would not go to other performers' shows in order to avoid feelings of jealousy towards them. This, of course, interfered with her ability to make helpful connections and establish relationships that would be beneficial for her creativity and professional networking. 
  2. Lead to destructive comparisons - Jealousy and envy hinder creativity in that they cause the artist to compare their work and achievements to others'. Thinking in terms of what others are doing and how they are doing it significantly limits the person's sense of creative freedom during the creative process.
  3. Cause significant distress and low self-worth - It is important not to see oneself as a point of comparison but as a unique entity whose worth does not waver despite flaws and weaknesses.  Jealousy and envy significantly threaten the person's sense of self-worth and create a cognitively distorted way of thinking i.e. "everything they do is great because they are perfect and loved by everyone"

So how can one cope with such feelings?
  1. Ask yourself if these feelings are about you and not about the other person. Sometimes it seems as though we are envious of a particular trait or accomplishment in someone else, but many times this feeling is triggered by a preexisting sense of inadequacy and sensitivity. This relieves the pressure and preoccupation with the other person and shifts the attention onto the self. Though this can be a difficult process, it can also be empowering as it recognizes the personal responsibility in dealing with the feelings. 
  2. Explore what purpose such feelings serve? A positive function served by jealousy and envy is that it's our chance to ask ourselves what is not working for us: in the we are living our lives, expressing our art, performing etc. Perhaps the jealousy tells us that we, too, have a passion for a particular mode of artistic expression or that we need to work harder at mastering a certain skill. Sometimes, the answer can be confidence-boosting in that the artist's gets to recognize that, in fact, they are pleased with their choices and it's just a matter of "grass is greener" type of thinking. 
  3. Identify and challenge any black or white ways of thinking. Just because it seems like someone else effortlessly achieved something does not mean that this is the case. It may appear that following their path would bring you joy when, in fact, finding yourself in the other person's shoes might have triggered similar, if not more, feelings of overall life dissatisfaction.  
  4. Finally, allow yourself some time to feel and, perhaps, mourn the loss of what has not been achieved or acquired. Losing a spot to someone else, not advancing in a competition, having fewer performance opportunities etc., can feel like a sort of loss. If the person's choices and opportunities, regarding ultimately achieving desired goals, are limited, then coming to terms with and accepting what one doesn't have (but perhaps others do) is a psychologically self-actualizing process.
By Olga Gonithellis
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